In the moments (that turned into hours and eventually days) following him being picked up, I panicked. I called anyone and everyone i could think of. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. I called off work. Started calling attorney's, family members on both sides, other officers from other towns in an attempt to figure out my next steps. I had no idea what to do. I had never been arrested before! I didn't even know anyone that had been arrested before! When they put Aaron in the car, they asked me if I knew where Ethan was. I said I wasn't sure. Which technically wasn't a lie. I knew he was at the hospital with his tonsils about to explode, but I don't know which hospital. He was more or less worried about being found and taken in himself before he got a plan together. Ask me why Ethan and I don't get along. I had no idea what the fuck i was going to do. $4,000 is a lot of money. No one has that sitting around. Then the more I thought about it, I realized someone did. My mother. The big dog herself. The Mothership.
At that time in my life, there were a million and one things I would rather do than ask my mother for help. For example, I would rather walk on fire, eat a live snake, be skinned alive, or pretty much anything else, instead of asking the woman who pushed me out of her loins for any sort of assistance. Asking my mother for help was my last resort. Let me start by saying my mother, God love her with every piece of me, is NOT someone who hands things over to me or anyone else. I didn't really NEEEED to get Aaron out of jail. I would survive with him in there. But with every moment that passed, I lost more and more of my sanity. So when I made the call to the big dog, my tail was between my legs and I wanted her to be sure of how devastated and desperate I was. She reacted exactly how i thought she would. "Are you out of your goddamn mind?" Thinking to myself, yeah I pretty much am... I thought that would've been obvious. She told me "Sophia, I can't just hand you over $4,000. That's a lot of fucking money!" I had a complete & 150% irrational meltdown telling her she didn't love me and if she did she would get him out, before hanging up on her.
Back to square one of repeating the word "FUCK" over and over and over. I had a few people who were whole heartedly concerned. Hayden, Brittany, Aaron's best friend, Jake and Aaron's brother, Chris. Hayden offered to put up his demo car for sale to get Aaron out. Chris offered to fork up whatever he had saved. Jake offered to ask his grandma and fork up what little cash he had. Everyone offered a few hundred here and there, but I knew this wasn't the type of money you can pay back in a couple weeks. I tried again with my mom. She said she could do $1,000 to help, but no more. Same result. I screamed, cried, & hung up. (I look back now and hate myself for it. In what fucking world did I think it was her responsibility or obligation? I am terrible.)
I went back over to 302 where Jake still lived. Jake, Chris, Brittany & I sat outside and talked for awhile trying to figure out what to do. After 30 minutes of listening to me cry, Jake finally informs me that you get 90% of the bond back from the court and the 10% goes to court fees. Insert the biggest stale face of my life. I looked at him & said "You're just now telling me this you moron?" He told me that he had just remembered from a previous experience. You'll never guess who I called next.... yup, the Mothership.
"...Momma, Jake wants to talk to you." She is always momma when push comes to shove.. when I know I've fucked up.. it's Momma, not Mom. Anyway, at this time my mother had no clue who Jake was, and vice versa. After being caught off guard, he explained to my mom that once Aaron bonded out, he'd receive a refund check for 90% of the $4,000. My mom said how she didn't know that and if she had known, the conversations with me could have been very different. Well news flash woman, I didn't either. She said she would call the court house and verify. They hung up the phone. A few minutes later she called me back and I tried to hand it to Jake. "Talk to your mother Soph what the fuck," he said. I hesitated knowing I had just acted like most worthless, ungrateful vessel on earth. I answered and I really don't remember what she said besides informing me that typically the check goes to the attorney Aaron will pick, the lady at the court house informed her that with charges like these, Aaron would probably want a lawyer. Defeat. I waved my white flag. I thanked her, told her I would figure something out and that I loved her before hanging up the phone.
Some time passed, i was laying on the couch at Hayden's just completely lost and honestly, heartbroken. Everything this boy has done for me & the one time he needs my help, I'm useless. And then my phone started to ring. It read "Mothership" complete with the best picture of my mom, drunk on the boat in her life vest, it makes me chuckle every time. I answered with zero emotion, having no idea why she's calling. I said hello & she instantly started in, with irritation in her voice and a little bit of rage, she said, "Okay, tell me exactly what the fuck went on. Because I'm not bailing a fucking racist out of jail." I explained to her the situation and everything that happened the night of August 10th, my voice steady the whole time. It wasn't until she followed up my story with something I had NEVER heard her say, or even reference before, that I lost it. "I just sit here and think," her voice started to crack, "What the hell would your dad say? This is HIS money we're talking about here. We are going to do this for you because I just wonder what if he turns out to be the one. What if he turns out to be the best husband and dad and it all starts with this? But so help me Sophie, if I find out this kid is a racist, bigot piece of shit, i will never forgive you." I lost it. Was this real life! Was she really about to do this for me? For Aaron? Well as sure as the night, she did. Livid the whole time, but nonetheless she did it. I would later be degraded, criticized and shit talked because of "my mommy and her money." No matter what, I will forever look at my mom in a different light because of it. She is a good person, but an even better mom. I'm convinced both of our mothers are saints. They have done more for Aaron & I since we have been together than anyone.
Brittany and I sat in the Monroe County jail, waiting for him to be released. When he walked out, i all but cried. I wanted to be happy. But I knew it was just the beginning. It had only been 3 days but damn, what a TERRIBLE 3 days it was. We got home & got straight down to business. What attorney would we be getting? We needed to make calls. Hayden told Aaron of a guy named JD who had represented him and helped him out a lot. After calling around, we thought JD would be our best bet and we went out to meet up with him and get the ball rolling. When we met him and talked, he told us that he didn't understand why on earth the STATES ATTORNEY would be charging them with such bullshit charges. Still a mystery to this day. (🙄)
Our attorney put our worries to rest, assuring us that nothing would come of the charges. Probation at most. This was strictly a race thing, which wasn't news to us. We felt better. For awhile anyway. The court process was pretty stagnant for several months, with numerous continuances before any offers were made or denied.
But life was not. Things got crazy in a hurry.
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FAQs
Can effort be a value? ›
The value of effort is not innate, but is the result of learning and comes in conjunction with motivation. Effort only exists if we think that something is worth the fight, which is why it is essential to look for that spark in each child. You are their example in life.
What is the effort paradox? ›The “effort paradox” is the dissonance between the normative implications of effort and individual motivations to choose effortful tasks (Inzlicht et al., 2018). While traditional economic models treat effort as a cost, effort itself can add value to achieved outcomes or be inherently rewarding.
What is the relationship between effort and value for consumers? ›If a consumer product requires effort (e.g., effort and time to travel to and from a store in a neighboring town), it should be valued less than the same product that does not require effort (e.g., delivered directly to one's home).
What is the progress Loop? ›The Progress Loop. Inner work life drives performance; in turn, good performance, which depends on consistent progress, enhances inner work life. We call this the progress loop; it reveals the potential for self-reinforcing benefits.
Why is effort so important? ›Effort teaches us that we can do more than we thought. We learn new skills and abilities when we take the time to put in consistent effort. Every new success that we achieve through our efforts increases our confidence in ourselves and our abilities. Effort keeps us focused on success.
What does value of effort mean? ›Definition value versus effort
Value versus effort is a model utilized to prioritize features and build an effective roadmap, as part of a lean methodology. The framework asks teams to assign each feature with a value (e.g. revenue potential) and a measure of effort (e.g. hours to build).
Summary: The amount of effort required to do something influences what we think we see, finds a new study, suggesting we're biased towards perceiving anything challenging to be less appealing.
What is cognitive effort? ›Cognitive effort is defined as the engaged proportion of limited-capacity central processing. Using 80 undergraduates in 4 experiments, it was hypothesized that this variable might have important memorial consequences and be a potential confounding factor in levels-of-processing paradigms.
What is the law of effort and reward? ›The law of least effort to reward dictates that the design that will offer a great experience to the user must pass the test of simplicity and should require the least amount of time/effort to accomplish the task.
What is considered value? ›Value is the monetary, material, or assessed worth of an asset, good, or service. "Value" is attached to a myriad of concepts including shareholder value, the value of a firm, fair value, and market value. The process of calculating and assigning a value to a company or an asset is called valuation.
What is considered a thing of value? ›
3 “Anything of value” includes all. “in-kind contributions,” defined as “the provision of any goods or services without charge or at a. charge that is less than the usual and normal charge for such goods or services.”
What defines someone's value? ›They're what you view as the ideal standards of behavior, like patience and honesty. You probably have some guiding principles in your life that inform your decision making, goal setting, and overall disposition. These are probably your core values.
What refers to value? ›: the monetary worth of something : market price. : a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money for something exchanged.